Wednesday, July 15, 2009


I'm confused.

I'm a conservative with a liberal worldview. Simultaneously, I believe what I always have, and yet, I have adjusted to the complexities of life. Right now, I feel I must follow my thoughts to their logical conclusions...

A lot of new stuff has happened since I last blogged. There has been job searching and networking with the Department of Rehabilitative Services. A sweet girl named Jaqui is now working as my aide, basically a chauffeur and this has been fun.

Independence is neat. 

Today, my brother got yelled at for not wanting to marry his pregnant fiance until he has a job. On one hand, marriage seems like a good idea. Ironically, the reason he doesn't want to "make her an honest woman" is because he feels like without a job, without being an adequate "provider", he cannot marry her. It's a weird catch-22 and as much as my parents hate the fact that he doesn't want to make the official, legal commitment, I don't think they understand the fact he won't get married yet stems from the same motivation which compels him to seek marriage. 

I will file this under "patriarchy hurts men too" section.

Anyway, it's making me ponder the nature of marriage, of commitment. For all intents and purposes, he is married. He never leaves her side, they make decisions together, they have a child on the way. Their lives are so enmeshed and bundled up together, and everyone knows this, that I can't help but wonder if, in the truest sense of the world, they are already committed in a way that needs no piece of paper.

Not that "making it legal" wouldn't have its advantages. Benefits, benefits, benefits...

In the Bible, whenever anyone ever had sex, it was seen as a promise made with the body, that if the couple were caught, the man would have to pay the father of the woman the "bride price". As archaic and sexist, it begs the question if, in the eyes of God, if sex=marriage. 

Wow. The implications of this. 

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