We cry before we are born. And rust afterward.
Oh, the poetry implicit in natural processes. It's as beautiful as it is sad.
Tonight is so odd. I feel off kilter, the day littered with friends and old flames drifting through again. Last night, Rachel and I stuffed ourselves with challuh bread, Coldstone, macaroni and cheese (Yum!). Today, Tommie called, then Cindy came over. I feel weird being alone now. And even weirder being thrust back into human company.
Tommie, it turns out, is a card carrying communist now. Literally. Card carrying. And, as I type, my dad is yelling at his TV about a "damn commie marxist socialist" character from a movie during the Mccarthy era. Redundant, maybe. Uncalled for, definitely.
Tommie is no villain, passionate about universal health care and peace and compassion. It's refreshing. I mean, when it comes to Republicans the kid is cynical as they come, but when you mention Che, his voice gets higher and he asserts, in so many words, "change is coming" and "we can fix the world."
I'm not ready to join the "reds", or the "pinkos", or "whatever derogatory moniker is currently assigned" to communists and their sympathizers but it's refreshing to hear someone who doesn't equate "capitalism with godliness"; That "cynical-dog-eat-dog, may-the-best, most-well-fed-rich-white-guy-buy-it, system (er, I mean, win system)". As far as I'm concerned, being republican is scarily close to being a fatalist. "If we care for people, we'll get screwed over. Let's privatize it." (Never mind that 30% of those on welfare are children!)
Communism has had it's problems, obviously. What system hasn't? But, it really bugs me that those so enamored of our "democracy" conveniently forget that it hasn't been a rosy past. For one, our "democratic" forefathers meant "freedom for all men"; i.e, sola penisium. lol. Rights were originally only conferred to rich, land owning men (the white was implicit here); those with personal stakes in the governing. Oh, the endless possibilities for feminist critique here. Now, the same people so in love with dead white men cry: "freedom (to screw up) for every (wo)man" ... This might explain why being "capitalist" also means one must also be racist, classist, or sexist. Don't tell me I'm using gross generalities here. I know. It's unfair.
Really, though, how many communist leaning folks would you find in the KKK?
But, eh, live and let live. (Until the uprising of the proletariat, hehe.)
And, as a white, middle class female I'm part of the problem, my life pervaded by a commercialism. Every time I buy anything from Wal-mart or Target or whenever spend an extra dollar for something unnecessary. I feel glutted on the dime and dollar, what with my precious ipod, cigarettes, and reverse classism. The only thing I've ever known of want is for the immaterial; and really, those living in abject poverty never get the luxury of having existential crises.
Live and let live, I guess. And if possible, lend a hand?